When we were younger we had a couple of gerbils, parakeets, bunnies, and fish, etc.. And even the fish, I would watch swim for hours but we wanted a Scooby and or a Garfield.
I wanted to share a lighter story this week. I have always been able to make people laugh but doing so with the written word, may take a minute, or 10, 000. I thought
My Mom was afraid of dogs and very allergic to cats. And it took years and one weekend to change everything. We watched my uncles dog Jasmine. My Mom and Dad, of course all the kids fell in love with her. She never went back to my uncles. She was one of the loves of all of our lives and lived a very long time. Jazzy Girl, Jazz, Jasmine, Fizzle…
Incidentally, my Mom also brought home my first cat. She was part of a group of kittens abandoned by their momma. We named her Duebber, the same name of the local auto shop where she was found. Everyone loved her that met her. My brothers who weren’t cat people loved Boo. She would greet people and also lived a very long time, about 22 years.
After we had Jasmine, then Cody, my brother got Bodhi (Rescued litter mates), we rescued other dogs. If they were being neglected or needed a better home. Or the stray dog, that we didn’t realize was the neighbors dog.
We took in this Cocker Spaniel, Shadow, that would find its way to us every once in a while. The first time, my Mom took her to get groomed because her coat was pretty matted. It turned out the owners lived at the other end of our street. She looked completely different, but that was a bit awkward. All be it hilarious to us.
My Mom felt the need to replace each one of us as we left home. Though we all have been back a time or two to live. At one point we had about 9 dogs, split amongst all of the siblings and my parents. Christmas was interesting to say the least.
Back to the character of this post. I have worked for myself in some capacity since I was young. Babysitting, yard work, cleaning, painting, and so on. Always working, trying to do something to make money. In that, I realize I have always been blessed with some of the best people as clients.
A number of the families, lived in an affluent suburb of Cincinnati and this particular family had a beautiful, expansive, white brick home with a pond, tennis court, swimming pool, the works. I cleaned twice a week because it was a lot of house to get through. It was gorgeous, yet this was one of the more modest homes in the area.
At a certain point they decided to get a parrot. This wasn’t one of the huge parrots, it must have been just under 12 inches long. I can’t remember its name but she lived in their office. She had a giant green, metal birdhouse that she would often hang out on top of.
When I met her, they did tell me that she was partial to the Dad in the household. I understand it is pretty typical for a parrot, to gravitate to one person or another. I said does she bite, and they said “she can.” Ah, k I thought. Instant mental note, at the same time appreciating her from afar.
One day, I was at their house cleaning their double sized office overlooking their expansive landscape. Two walls of windows sitting perpendicular to the other through to the back and the sun room on the left.
I noticed the bird was hanging out on top of the cage. She seemed to love to throw anything and everything out of that cage. I think similar to when birds are splashing in a fountain, they seem to enjoy making a mess. Eating their seed and shaking their head, spreading feathers and remnants of food everywhere. “Notice me”, they seem to be saying.
Anyway, as I start to vacuum, gradually making my way to the cage. I pull out the hose bending over to reach the floor, I am sure humming along to some song in my head, likely a Christmas Carol. The next thing I know, I feel something touch my shoulder. I can’t remember if I saw this happen or just felt it. I instantly froze. I had no earthly idea what to do as I realize the bird is no longer on the cage but on my back, my shoulder.
I was frozen stiff. I kept trying to get it back on the cage by leaning up against it but it wouldn’t budge. I was afraid to try and reach for it because I didn’t want it to bite me. I kept imagining it biting me and running somehow accidentally hurting the bird. In my mind, I was suddenly Shelly Long in Money Pit. Raccoon jumping on her chest and running around screaming. (Great movie btw)
Time stood still. In what felt like hours I tried to keep it together so I didn’t upset the bird or somehow hurt it. Do you ever get a feeling when you see a spider, or see a snake, even on TV, or feel fear where you break out into a cold sweat. My shirt was drenched. My mind was imagining, moving forward into the day, evening, what if I couldn’t get this bird off of me.
After a while, I slowly walked down the hallway to the bathroom so I could see the bird in the bathroom mirror. I had a stick that it perched on in my hand and would put it on the side of my shoulder where the bird was but every single time it would crawl to the other side of my back, the other shoulder. This continued for a long while.
Finally, I realize I am stuck. I am not sure what else to do so I call the owner Adrienne. Adrienne was a lovely woman but very stoic. She and I got along well as I did with all my clients but she and I weren’t terribly close. She answers the phone, “hi Jen, whats going on?” I say, “well I was cleaning your office and your bird jumped on me. I have spent the last 30 minutes trying to get her off of me.”
There was a long pause and I hear laughter on the other end of the phone. She is cracking up as she says “Jennifer, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard!” I stand there, laughing with her while sweat was dripping down my legs. I think we ended the conversation with my saying I would try again to get her off of me and send an update.
I marched back in the bathroom and we continued the same dance as we had before. I think somehow she must have been enjoying herself. I felt an incredible amount of irrational fear that she was at any moment going to rise above my shoulder and attack my eyeballs.
I walked carefully back to their office wondering what in the world I was going to do. As I stood there staring at the beautiful scenery, feeling as if I or someone willed this to happen to teach me some sort of lesson.
As I am standing there, trying to think what else I can possibly do, she jumped back on her giant green cage. Just like that. I laughed thinking you have got to be kidding me. If I didn’t know any better she was still looking at me as if I was an idiot.
Alas, another moment in my life when I probably could have done without the fear. I am sure there are many lessons to draw from this experience but it remains one of those silly stories I enjoy sharing over a large dinner table and bottles of wine.
Fun Fact:
Did you know that birds are believed (documented) to have evolved from dinosaurs? Read up on it. Fascinating Stuff https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-dinosaurs-shrank-and-became-birds/
I added this in because of the opening moments of the video 🙂
EveryThing McNutt 